The other night the teenager and I were watching Kitchen Nightmares on Netflix. He was on the couch, I was in the recliner. I told him I wanted to switch seats so I could stretch out as my back was hurting. So he switched, I got all comfy on the couch and settled down to watch Gordon. He says to me:
"Don't fall asleep, mom. You never know what might happen."
I told him, "I would not DARE fall asleep while Gordon is on!"
I woke up the next morning with a little weiner drawn on my elbow. Complete with balls and pubes. Thankfully it was normal ink and not a Sharpie he choose as his weapon of choice.
That'll teach me to fall asleep around a teenager again!