I am mother of four children, who are no longer babies aged 19, 17, 14 and 11, and I live in Cape Town South Africa. The oldest three are boys and the youngest our little princess.
For the first 16 years of us being parents we lived in Pretoria South Africa, and lived in the same house. The children all went to the same pre primary school, primary school and the oldest two even went on to the same high school.
At that time my husbands business ran into major financial trouble and the only option was for him to take up a position with another company. The problem however was that he could only find employment outside of South Africa in Tanzania, East Africa. He first moved over there alone for 6 months, and after that we moved over there. We were hardly there for 6 months, when his company informed him that they will be closing down the branch in Tanzania and that they don't have another job for him.
We were forced to move back to South Africa, but into my in-laws home in Johannesburg. We were now broke, unemployed and living in a tiny 3 bedroom house with our four children, and the in laws in a garden flat at the back of the property. It took me 9 months to find work, and my husband only found employment 3 months ago as a realtor. The year and a half in Johannesburg was the most difficult time of our lives. My company then transferred me to Cape Town in December 2015. We are now settled into a rental home, my husband has sold his first home, but financially we are still really battling. During all of this we kept on talking positively to the children, explaining it all as an adventure, and it seemed as if all was well with all of them.
Yesterday I went for a walk on the beach with our little girl, and we started talking about her dreams etc. And this was when it hit me, that she has been feeling as if she has no security for the last three years. She told me that she wanted to go "home", to Pretoria. And when we started talking about the why, it became clear that Pretoria represented everything that made her feel safe and secure.
My question to you is this, how do I make her feel secure again, without knowing when we will really be financially OK again. Because that is when we will be able to own a home of our own again, give the children the things they need. If anyone has any ideas please let me know.