Author Topic: you time  (Read 8271 times)

Offline Princess Zelda

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you time
« on: Mar 20, 2016 @ 11:15 PM »


Today I want to talk about making time for yourself. Being a single mom is hard and at times very stressful. Sometimes taking a little break is whats needed. Sometimes parents are against this or they feel really guilty about it, thinking that this is my child and I have my responsibilities. But Im here to say that yes you are a parent and possible a single one at that, and you do have your responsibilities you have to do and you need to be there for your kids, but you also need to take some time for you. Im not talking about the hour you get either before your kids wake up or after they go to sleep, and Im not even talking about the time they are at school, or you are at work. Im talking about taking some time for you. Plan a day or maybe a few just go out be with friends, or family, or even just yourself, and relax. I love my boy dearly and I want to be with them constantly being a part of every moment they have, but I also take the time to have a me day. Having that me day I always have so much fun, but coming back and being with my boys makes me appreciate them more than I thought I did and I value the time I have with them. Taking a me day also release stress and may help so youre not so short with them, or maybe just a little more lenient on them. It helps you not sweat the small stuff and to pick the battles that matter being a parent to your kids. I have my kids 50/50, going off of my exs schedule when he doesnt work he has the boy and when he does work I have them. and when I dont have my boys I work or go to school every day their gone, and when I do have them I am with them 100%. This last month was a little different, their dad had to go into shutdown for his work (for those of you dont know what that is its when you work a month to two weeks straight without a day off going into work at 6 am and getting off at 6 pm) for a month, so that means I had the boys for the whole month and I loved it. During that time though I was stressed to the max, before when I was married my breaks were when their dad got home and I could do what needed to get done, but now Im with my boys on my own and have to clean, cook, work, and go to school, and like I said I was STRESSED. My mom called me up three weeks in to the shutdown and I just broke down to her telling her about my stress and wanting to have a me day, but also feeling so guilty for even thinking about missing out on a day or more with my kids, and feeling like I would be a horrible parent if I ever did that. She talked to me for hours got me calmed down and reassured me that there was nothing wrong with having a me day, and that its need to relieve that stress so I could be a better me and parent when I got back. So she told me that she was taking my boys for the weekend and that I need to get out have fun (not that I wasnt having fun with my boys) and to worry just about me for a couple days. She picked up my boys on a Friday night and from their I went and visited my best friends who Ive been friends with for 11 years but havent seen for 3, they live 4 hours away. I was excited to see them where its been so long and to catch up on life and whats been happening. Im not going to lie I had a blast, and yes at first I felt guilt and again felt like I was the worst parent, but as time went on and my mothers words in my head I began to focus on me and on having a good time, because me worrying wasnt going to make things better. I did miss them constantly but I also got to relax and not stress over everything and it was kind of nice. The day of leaving I was sad to say good bye, but I was even more excited that I was going to see my babies and o how I missed them. 4 hours was way too long of a drive with my boys completely on my mind. As soon as I see my boys I know that I wasnt a bad parent for doing this, because they werent with bad people, and because they too had a fun time hanging with grandma. I noticed after this how much I really missed them, and how much less stressed out I was, and that I wasnt so short with them. I know that thinking of taking a me day or 2 or even 3 or more makes you feel like its a bad thing and makes you feel completely guilty about it sometimes, but really there is nothing wrong with it at all, and really sometimes its for the better. So go out call up a family member or a trusty baby sitter and plan a day for yourself or plan a vacation if thats what needed. Im not going to tell you to dont feel guilty because truthfully at first youre going to, but maybe after a while give yourself a break, let lose, and have fun. Then in the end when you go home and see your babies can see then truly see how they are such an important part of your life and how much unconditional love you have for them, even though you knew it all along. 



Offline Momneed

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Re: you time
« Reply #1 on: Mar 22, 2016 @ 07:35 PM »
thanks for sharing.
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Offline Somebodys_Mother

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Re: you time
« Reply #2 on: Mar 23, 2016 @ 09:31 AM »
Thanks for sharing. This has been on my mind a lot lately as well. Mostly because last week I went to California to see my sister. It was the first time I had left my sons for more than a day at a time since I had them! (They are 2.5 & 1.5 years). People at work were like "Oh you're going to California without your husband and sons??" Like it was the craziest thing.
So insert Mom guilt!
But let me tell you, I don't think I even knew how much I needed a break. I missed them tons! But I came back so happy and so grateful for my family.  I think we as Mother's have to find a way to stop feeling guilty for asking for help! For saying, I AM RUNNING ON LOW.

You may like this interview with Jada Pinkett Smith. It's long but definitely worth the watch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQK9Ufr4yrY



Britt
You're Some Body's Mother
http://www.youresomebodysmother.com

 

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