Author Topic: Things people say to my daughter  (Read 2020 times)

Offline Momofdaughter

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Things people say to my daughter
« on: Sep 09, 2013 @ 05:52 PM »
I wonder if anyone has had this happen.  My daughter is 16 and she's had family members make comments about her becoming a mom someday.  My daughter is not sure she ever wants to be a mom.  How do I protect my daughter from well-meaning comments from grandparents or other family members who say things like this?  I mean, really, do we all just assume that our daughters will want to pursue motherhood someday? 



Offline 2babiesandabuggy

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Re: Things people say to my daughter
« Reply #1 on: Nov 15, 2013 @ 03:58 PM »
What's wrong with people assuming she wants to be a mother?
Personally I believe that to create another life within your body is the most empowering that a woman can do, and all other achievements and goals fall second to that. With our bodies a woman can continue a nation.
I need a better understanding of why you don't like people making comments about her being a mother to her.

Offline lmommywood

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Re: Things people say to my daughter
« Reply #2 on: Feb 18, 2014 @ 11:53 AM »
Well protect is not really something possible especially when it comes to other people's words. She is old enough to speak for herself, so what you can do is discuss with her best approach in response to that when it comes up again. I have an 18 year old daughter and we have never experienced that so I guess it all depends on individual. Expectations came in all forms and though your daughter's dream may be something else, turn those comments that may be upsetting you and or her into teaching moments for others that life for everyone has its own road. Best of luck ;) livingmommywood.blogspot.com

Offline estherjoycraig

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Re: Things people say to my daughter
« Reply #3 on: Feb 18, 2014 @ 06:18 PM »
I feel like I can see both sides of this conversation. While being a mother is the coolest thing ever to most people and arguably the most rewarding thing any woman can ever experience, it doesn't automatically mean that everyone wants to experience this, which really is their right to decide. So I think that the most important overarching message that your daughter hears about her life should be: "Be the best ___ that you are capable of being, be courageous to be who your heart already really knows that it is, and don't let outside pressures to be, or not be, a mother  (or anything else for that matter) influence you too much.
Having said all this, I imagine it will all work itself out just fine, because the other complexity that you mention is your daughter's age. 16 a bit on the young side for anyone to know what they want to do/ be when they grow up, let alone knowing how they feel about a responsibility as monumental as having children. So I imagine that as she gets older she will have a more defined sense of what she does and doesn't want to include in her future. But for now, I can see why withholding pressure to be or not be anything is worth considering. Pressure is different from empowering and modeling. The two latter do not come with judgement. Modeling that being a mom is awesome and being open to talking about it is different that pressuring someone.  ... Just my two cents :-)

Offline mumsmusingmind

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Re: Things people say to my daughter
« Reply #4 on: Apr 15, 2014 @ 09:53 AM »
One of my cousins feels the same way and has been shouting it out loud on facebook.  She is recently married and is being pressured by pretty much everyone and anyone.   She posted this the other day, you might find it useful:

http://kate-wisehart.tumblr.com/post/78988785734/to-the-women-who-choose-not-to-have-kids
My blog is about our unconventional journey in becoming a family.  Life stories, diy, tips for happy & healthy living, and reviews. You can follow me on Facebook too at www.facebook.com/mumsmusingmind

Offline Findaupair

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Re: Things people say to my daughter
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2014 @ 12:37 AM »
There is a stereotype that exists in any family. Everyone wants someone to do as everyone else does. Nobody wants to deviate from what they consider as normal!

Offline RobynCoden

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Re: Things people say to my daughter
« Reply #6 on: Jul 01, 2014 @ 01:54 PM »
She's 16!! Just tell her to tell them that she hasn't thought that far ahead, right now she just wants a new car.  :D

~R
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