Author Topic: Stay at Home Mom vs. Working Mother - Why do we need a scorecard?  (Read 1321 times)

Offline TODD2401

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After reading the Matt Walsh article (link posted below) defending Stay-At-Home-Mothers against condescending Working Mothers, I decided to write my response, which basically asks why this debate is worth having? I also realize that, as a man, I may not have any credibility being in this argument at all.  Let me know what you think!

So that you don't need to read the whole post, or hit the link to see my opinion, I copied the last few paragraphs here so that you know where I stand:

"""Life is not a contest, and raising kids is not an easy jobNeither is being a Working Mother

There are no easy jobs worth doingPeriod

Working Mothers have the stress of going to work every day, leaving their baby with someone else, knowing that they have to do all of their invaluable mothering in the few hours between the end of the work day and bed time.

SAHMs have the stress of being the sole person responsible for raising a child successfully, not getting any recognition or any paycheck, all while having one of the only jobs where you are, quite simply, never allowed to quit or take a sick day.

Working Fathers will never understand what Working Mothers or SAHMs are going through, and judging by the comments on Matt Walshs blog, we are not allowed to have an opinion on the issue anyway.

Stay-At-Home-Fathers (SAHF) are a special breed who are bucking an enormous social norm, while offering their child a unique experience that not many children get.  In short, I do not want to get hate mail from you guys, I have almost as much respect for you as I have for my wife (and that is as good as it is ever going to get in my book).

To sum it up, the only thing that Hillary Clinton and I will ever agree on is that it takes a village to raise a child.  That village consists of Working Mothers, SAHMs, Working Dads, SAHFs, along with working single people

The only thing that village does not have is a scoreboardand that is how it should be""""

My Blog Post Response:

Matt Walsh's (Now-Famous) Blog Post:

Offline estherjoycraig

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uuuummmm.... You rock.

I could begin be referencing historical milestones within the feminist movement and why I believe there has been great value in the normalization of the working mother's role. (I believe this). Or to cite the progression of the movement and why, thanks to the hard and brave work of said feminist women, we don't find ourselves in the same climate and have more of (or at least a perception of) acceptance of both roles being valuable in today's society. Thank goodness because stay at home moms deserved respect too! Blah Blah Blah.

 But what I guess I felt like saying while reading your post is this:

As long as sexism still exists, there will be internalized oppression within female-land. And one of the sad ways that it manifests itself is that we women can sometimes tear each other down, or forget that there is room for all of us here. Sometimes we forget that being different does not pose a threat to others. And that one woman  is no less a bad ass than the next lady, just because she sets up her life differently. Its ALL hard work!
And we haven't even discussed poverty, income, or the fact that regardless of what many women would love to do, they are not in a position to choose to juggle their family any differently than they do, for financial reasons, or other reasons.
Anyhoo... Thanks for bringing up this topic. I for one would just like to say "you go girl!" and give a mega-high-five to pretty much every mother, for somehow finding a way to make their lives work out in whatever uniquely awesome way they do. Hi-five to stay at home moms. Hi-five to working moms. Hi-five to every person who is acting as a responsible guardian to children, no matter who the heck you are!  Lastly, that I am thankful for the fact that this conversation can even exist because at least we have the freedom to choose which role we will live out. A privilege that is not afforded to many moms around the world.
Peace out.


Offline RobynCoden

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AMEN, sister!!!

I had a contest on my blog not long ago and that's what the winning topic was.

I answered her question and I think you will like my response, but maybe not, but probably.
Here it is if you're in the mood. It's short.  It's called "Working While Mothering."

We're an unconventional family, and we live an unconventional life, but sometimes unconventional works, in really funny ways.



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