Author Topic: Hello, beautiful people! My name is Jolanta!  (Read 1100 times)

Offline yooolka

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Hello, beautiful people! My name is Jolanta!
« on: Feb 15, 2017 @ 02:38 PM »
...and I am 22 years old mommy blogger from Paris, France! I am very happy to join you in this amazing community and I can not wait to check out your blogs and get inspired!

I found out that Im pregnant five months after the birth of my first baby. The first pregnancy hit me hard, I was deeply depressed during all nine months and I couldnt wait to get back on track. Dont get me wrong, I love to be a mom and Im endlessly grateful for such a blessing, but when you are 22 you want to make the most out of your life. So I started distance learning and prepared a new CV. I wanted to combine literally everything I could motherhood, studies,  career What a dreamer, right?

One day I woke up with extremely unbearable pain in my lower right abdomen, and my boyfriend called an ambulance. Four hours later I woke up in the hospital with removed cyst and the fact that Im carrying twins. That turned my life upside down (the twins, not the cyst). The idea of having three small babies at the same time was terrifying. I was sure I could manage two, but not three. Plus, I didnt receive the support I needed. Instead, everyone told me how hard it will be or asked how Im going to manage everything. It sounded like: Congratulations! You are done!

That made me question myself about my whole life. I was expecting it to be completely different (like, I wanted to protect rhinos in Africa or to become the next Nelson Mandela). Becoming a stay-at-home-mom was something so embarrassing, especially when I saw how my friends were slowly reaching their goals. I thought my life will pass me by and I will never reach mine. But at the same time, I was filled with love. So much love. I was angry at myself. Life gave me such a happiness, but I was sitting there whining and complaining instead of, well, just being happy.

Now I have an 11 months old baby, and Im 30 weeks pregnant with twins. I know that I wont become a cosmonaut anymore, but Im happy about it. Honestly! Sure, sometimes I do have bad thoughts and sometimes Im sad, even depressed. Im scared of not being a good mom. Im thinking, how hard it will be? What if I will fail? What about our relationship with my boyfriend? Will we be strong enough to go through all this? Are we going to be happy? Will see. What I know for sure is that my life will never be the same again and Im going try to make the most out of it.



 

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